“Who’s to say what’s proper? If it was agreed it was proper to wear a codfish on your head, would you?” – Alice in Wonderland
We grow up being taught what we ought to do or not do. How to dress, eat, play, what friends to have, what sports to play, how to learn, what to memorize, how to think. Then we lose ourselves to become these little robots in society – believing that is the “right” way. Innocently, we lose our real self.
When you realize you’re the creator of this life, you no longer have to fit in, accept, listen to, obey, etc. Nothing is happening to you! You are released of the “victim” mentality, you lose all interest in blame, and become empowered. There is nothing you cannot achieve, dream, do, be. This is what all the most successful people know. They break all the rules, think outside the box, they are limitless – and the biggest secret – SO ARE YOU. Naysayers say, “you can’t do that”,”that’s impossible”, “that’s never been done”, “that’s not the way we do it”, “that’s the wrong way”, etc. These dreamers don’t buy into the rules of the world, they sometimes appear insane or crazy to which I say – all the great one’s are.
These dreamers don’t buy into the rules of the world, they sometimes appear insane or crazy to which I say – all the great one’s are.
All is not lost. Your real self is always in there. The fearless love that we all are is still in each of us, if we are brave enough to just be – without worry of others opinions. You can be anything you desire – the only thing stopping you is you.
When I was a 15 I took a high school sewing class as a prerequisite to take advanced fashion design. The next semester they said the school board was cutting funding and would not offer the advanced fashion design class any longer. I said, “No, that’s just not acceptable. I will take this class.” I went to the school board, with my supportive mother, and told them my strong opinions and they decided to offer it. For my first project I made a wedding gown. When I was done, my Home Ec teacher confessed, “Liza I didn’t know if I could make that complex pattern when you showed me – now, you can make anything.” I never forgot that moment. I was so empowered – the support of my teacher and mother made all the difference. What if we all empowered our children like this? They’d be an unstoppable generation.
When I talk to my kids, I avoid words like “good”, “bad”, “right”, “wrong”. I don’t want to put limits on them. I want them to believe they can be, do and achieve anything – that the answers are inside themselves. Instead of punishing my children with fear and rewarding for “good” behavior – I ask them the questions and let them decide for them self. The other week at the play ground, my son was throwing handfuls of sand out of the box. I asked, “Hey Liam, what if everyone threw handfuls of sand out of the box? All the sand would be gone and we’d have non left to play with.” To my lucky surprise he shouts back, “Mom – I’m never throwing this sand out of this box again!” This may not work every time, but the more you empower them and be the example of love you wish to see – the more they will mimic you.
Literally as I’m writing this, my son is throwing a heavy booster seat on the floor. I didn’t say, “stop” or “no” I asked calmly, “Hey Liam, would you like it if I went in your room and threw heavy things on your stuff and damaged it?” He replied, “No!” I said, “Then do you think I want you to throw things and potentially damage my stuff?” “No mommy”. I don’t even expect an apology, it’s just a logical conversation to teach him to think for himself and respect, just as he wants respect.
If we really took time to think about WHY we’re asking our kids to do something, and get them to think about it, they become empowered to make their own decisions instead of dictatorship parenting. I am not a god for my children to fear, look up to or become. My children are already God and have all the power and knowledge inside to create whatever they want in this beautiful dream called life.
I’d love to hear what ways do you empower your children? Thanks for reading!