While I was cooking dinner with my toddlers tonight the song my ex husband sang to me, while slow dancing, before he proposed started playing. I told my 4 1/2 year old, Liam, the romantic story of what daddy did before he asked me to “be his princess”. He seemed interested in this story and I asked Liam if he wanted to dance. Half way through, I started to cry and Liam said, “Why are you sad mommy?” I said, “Because I’m scared I won’t find another prince.” He held my hands in his face, smiled so big and said, “I AM your prince mommy!” Then we finished dancing to the song, both smiling so big while my sad tears turned into joyful ones!
Some people are surprised when I tell them I never hide my emotions from my kids. I always explain why I’m feeling certain emotions and let my kids have them to. Sometimes the angry one’s are accompanied by, “It’s okay to feel upset – lets just spend a little time alone in your room while you calm down and work through it.” Above all else, I want them to know how to work through emotions – and not let them consume their minds or make them feel guilty or wrong for having them. So part of my parenting style tends to be if I’m sad or frustrated or joyful I just be it and share why.
While I was tucking him in that night, he grabbed my face and said, “Smile mommy.” I obeyed this adorable demand and what he proceeded to say shocked me, ” Mommy, you should smile like this every day, because every day I will be your prince.” I was absolutely stunned he remembered our conversation and my emotions earlier! Sometimes I get so distracted searching everywhere for a love that’s right here in front of me.
One of the biggest lessons I’m learning is how hard it is for me to be content if I don’t have a male partner by my side. How humbling to have my son see that struggle in me and be the one to give comfort. I underestimate how intelligent and perfectly aware they are. It’s amazing that we all still have this intuitive child-like side buried in ourselves. I swear, every day I’m wanting more and more to be like a child.
When you’re really lucky your handsome, very aware, toddler reminds you that you are perfect – just where you’re at!
Not every day is easy to be single when you’re 33 and have two kids. The ego constantly chirps in your head, “Who would want to date a girl in her 30s with two toddlers?!” I really struggle with the temptation to feel hopeless or unworthy. And sometimes a glass of wine, or (confession) some Bumble swiping, or a girls night out helps. And sometimes when you’re really lucky your handsome, very aware, toddler reminds you that you are perfect – just where you’re at!
Let’s hear is single moms! What lessons have your kids taught you?